Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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