After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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