I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
