You really coming over, don't trick.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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