how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
