Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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