It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
