i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
