I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
