Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
