no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
