I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
