the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
