Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
