There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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