dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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