I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
