They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
