I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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