So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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