drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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