right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
