im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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