Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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