i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
