I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
