Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It was confusing and full of hummus
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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