Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
