My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
