can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
