Where is the hickey?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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