She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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