It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
