You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
