Dual....:-)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
