Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
