So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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