you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You are the jesus of drinking
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
