We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
