he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
