Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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