hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this will be a night to untag.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
