if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
