Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
