..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
