you guys were way drunker than both of me
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
