Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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