I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
