Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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