Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
