He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
