youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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